Bittersweet.

Ah, I can honestly say, I am glad this chapter of life will soon end in two weeks. I suppose if you think of the semester ending as a chapter.

I do.

Normally, I do not want put a time table on seasons and chapters in my life, but as a college student, I think its legit.

The month of April has brought many showers..many I never wanted. Tension in relationships, failing health beyond any I have ever experienced before bringing about weakness and the need for help in many ways, a broken heart, none of these things which I wanted. Of course, who does? I ask for humility, and I truly mean it. I have questioned myself, is this really what I desire? However, it has been kindly pointed out to me, that I view humility in terms of legalism. Grace covers all. Nothing I can do will earn me favor in God's sight. Humility is to become more like His character and continue sanctification, but not to earn God's mercy. Christ already paid that price on the cross. How could I have been so blind to this truth?

Learning still, to process my emotions. To stop thinking so much, and start feeling. True honesty, pains the heart, but it is necessary.

I want this season to end. I was thinking tonight, I only have two weeks left. Everything will change. My living arrangements, my friends leave for the summer, classes end, summer school, more work, then internship. What a sense of relief I feel, looking forward to the summer. I do not know what it will bring, but I anticipate the turning of the page. I will look back, a month from now perhaps, and reflect on all I am learning in this moment. Hard lessons. However, I desire to grow. I desire to serve the church. I desire to be more like Him.

Psalm 139.

Stop running. Stop avoiding. It takes courage to face the truth.

Let love in. Let others serve me. We were made to serve each other.

Tomorrow is a new day. Literally, I am thankful for each breath given to me. Tonight, I wrote out a list of all I am thankful for. I didn't finish it yet, but I hope to soon. Ive wanted to make that list for awhile.

Mercies are new each morning. When I wake. "A new day is here, a new day to rejoice and be glad in. To be celebrated. To glorify God in. To be thankful for."

"Hallelujah, all I have is Christ"