Selfish girl.

Haiti.

Why?

I am so selfish sometimes. Sometimes is likely an understatement. I have heard so many heartbreaking prayer requests this week. Losing your mom to cancer, your dad a former minister involved in affair trying to divorce your mom, Haiti, not having source of income..and sometimes all I can think about is time management,what's for dinner, and ponder about a stupid boy..

I don't deserve anything I have. I take too much for granted. Something will come up, my health issues will flare up, I'll have a crazy homework assignment, whatever. Then I'll be begging God for His help once again. There is much truth to the line "I need Thee every hour". "Every" meaning times of joy and sorrow. All the time. I complain way too much. I whine, I think about myself more often than I should. I need to invite my neighbor over for tea, ask my students about THEIR lives, look for that lonely soul and listen, pray for an opportunity to give and serve. I know what I should do, why can't I release my sin nature and just be obedient?

You say let go, I say hold on, You say now, I say wait, you say try, I say give up, You say now, I say never, You say yes, I say no..

I am missing out on what I am called to do.