**This post was intended to be published on the 31, but got delayed in the middle of writing it..**
My title is deceptive. You thought I didn't know what day it was..
Ha. Gotcha.
Today closes off 2009. I love this day. It closes one year and starts another. One chapter finished, another begins. I love new beginnings and fresh starts. Well, that's how I look at it. This is one of my favorite days of the year. I enjoy sitting back and reflecting on the past year. The changes, good and bad, and most of all the lessons I have learned and looking at how far I've come. I also like to look into the future and attempt to see what the next year might hold for me. I mean, one can never be too sure and I can't predict the future, but I want to have hope in the new year. I sort of follow the "new years" resolutions, but not the typical make a list of "to-do". It's more looking at what happened in the present year and using that to help guide my future. I learn from experience therefore I resolve to help course my future off of those experiences. So here it is, the 2009 reflection post. Might as well make my time useful as I wait for my soup to finish cooking.
Let's start with January..
Uh, the big move. Moody and Chicago. What a way to kick off a new year. Moving states, schools, majors, and um, climate. No job, no friends. Never even been to Moody or Chicago. That naturally changed my life. I have never made a permanent move to another state, especially not the North Midwest amidst one of the biggest cities in the United States. I remember journaling a lot about loneliness. I also went in with a pre-conceived notion of how things would run for me at moody. I'd find a job withing a few weeks, ace all my classes.. um, yeah no. I hated the cold, classes were hard, and I felt completely out of place.
February-More cold. More snow. Learning founders week. Catering job and babysitting job both occurred this month, and both came from nowhere. God's provided unexpectedly. Joined my floor's ministry team. Met some wonderful people and relationship building began. Ran my 1st 5k! Got re-hired with student life for the summer. Also, the diagnosis of the food allergies began. I went in for my Asthma and was tested positive for lactose intolerance. Never in a million years did I imagine that..little did I know there was more.
March-Spring break, home!super busy break, catching up with old friends. Go back to school, and go on a wonderful retreat that helped build even stronger relationships
April-Really loving Chicago! Spring begins to creep in and I saw the city without snow for the first time. Began taking trips to Lake Michigan and running outside more often. Return to the doctor, no soy, gluten and begin meds for acid reflux.
May-Finding it hard to part from Chicago! I made it through my 1st semester! I went home for one week before heading to Birmingham. My sweet friend Bridget got married and I was able to attend the wedding! I got asked out 2 times in one week, and learned to handle both well, considering I am bad at that. One was a good experience, the other not. I learned what a gentlemen looks like. Headed out to Student Life.
June-learning my new job was difficult. I also decided the gluten was too hard on the road, so i went back making me sick, and with terrible mood swings. bad idea. Traveled to Missouri, North Carolina,South Padre Texas. Still trying to fit in with the team.
July-Texas to Ohio, to Virginia, to Missouri, to Colorado. Learned a very hard lesson in relationships. Once again, loved colorado. made some good friends on the team. Learned alot about Compassion International and Faith N. changed my life. She taught me how to love and I became more passionate about Compassion after seeing her life. Turned 21 in the beautiful mountains! Experienced true dislike and exclusion for the first time in my Christian life. Very hard.
August-still in Colorado, finally return home for a week and a half. Crack down on my Independent study class while trying ot visit family and friends. Take my sister to Houston and fly back to Chicago the next day. Depression sinks in. Classes start.
September-start nannying again, search for a second job. Student teaching for PCM begins. Fighting hard despression. Many a nights crying in my room. Classes pick up. Went off gluten again, and health improves significantly. Depression starts to fade, and with the help of wonderful friends and the Lord's guidance I make it through. Learned to forgive those who caused pain this summer. Joined Gospel choir.
October-finally start really being around people again. had to attend a funeral for a young girl of 3. Failed my first college exam. humbled. forced myself to "get help" from the Prof. Making new friends. Missions conference. Internship search process begins. First Moody missions conference. Feeling more pressed to reach the lost. Retreat on Halloween, some of the most fun I had in while, was introduced to filafel :)
November-Classes are heavy, PCM struggles. Friendships are strengthening. I begin making friends with my professors (nerd) and learning alot from them. My internship choice number one falls apart, because of health I must stay in the states. My choices are in Dearborn and Detroit MI. No gluten is getting easier. Ultrasound finds nothing, so next step is colonoscopy. Suprise ticket home for thanksgiving!
December-wrap up semester. 3 job interviews, nothing. Mom loses job. Trying to get internship paperwork started. move rooms, 5 finals, and a barely paid first school payment. Off-meal plan. However, God begins to work in my heart through all these things. Home for 3 weeks
To sum it up, my year has been good. Definitely had its set of challenges. I have learned alot about my health, and through it have been trusting the Lord, and ministering to others with it. I am learning grace and humility though this as well. Fighting a huge round of depression. Learned to share my testimony openly with others. Burdened for the lost, praying for opportunities. Relationships, I have learned so much. Had my heart broken as I broke someone else. maybe more than one..learning to be content in singleness and also how to let others come in. Can patience and humility ever be fully achieved? I don't think so. God continues to teach me those things in different ways. Learning to love those who hate you is really hard! Especially if they claim to be believers. The struggles this year have all been worth it. 2009 has been a great year. One more year closer to the Lord, for who is to say how many more we have left? Learning to live in love, and to live a life in God. Letting go of my fear of failure and learning from my mistakes.
I fully embrace 2010, its highs and challenges. I am learning to quietly sit at the feet of Jesus daily, preparing for each new day that comes. Memorizing the word and studying it. I don't know what each day holds, but I am excited. I am ready to learn. Each new lesson, Each new trial, Each new pain, Each new joy, each new celebration, I am ready. I have lots of hopes, dreams and expectations, but I know His ways are still higher, and many may the plans be in my heart but Its only the Lord's who prevails. I am a planner, but I can only plan so much. I am grateful to have lived another year, and Lord willing will see through another. 2010, welcome.
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